SPIRIT Journey: Resilience
“Resilience” is from Latin resiliens, “to rebound, recoil, to jump, leap” Also, used in 1800’s to mean “elasticity”.
For me, resilience means to move forward even when faced with challenges, obstacles and shortcomings. However, it does not mean to keep pushing and pushing to the point of burnout.
Resilience is not measured in terms of suffering.
It is not about reaching a goal no matter what toll it takes on us.
It is not about the price we think we have to pay
or the sacrifices we have to make to move forward.
There has been so much research done on resilience to determine what makes someone “succeed” or “triumph in the face of adversity”. As well, there have been many connections made between our level of happiness and well-being as correlated to our level of resilience.
You ask most people what they want most in life, and they say “to be happy”. And, for me, there are as many definitions and pathways to happiness as there are people in the world. Perhaps that is what I finally found on the Camino was true happiness…bliss. I found my way back to my True Self and the core of my (well) being.
But the truth is that since returning from the Camino, I have lost my way a couple of times when there were big life changes and challenges. Fear came up again, and I had to be curious and discover new ways to cope with those fears by getting out of my mind and checking in with my heart through courage to find the “right” answers that would work for me.
I was stretched beyond my comfort zone of beliefs and best practices, but through courage and all the aspects of SPIRIT lessons that I am always talking about, I have been able to take leaps of faith to bounce back from all adversity. SPIRIT creates the elasticity I need to cope, survive and overcome so that I can take that next step into my well-being and find my way back home.
What does it mean to be “resilient” and “triumph in the face of adversity”? Here are some interpretations of this expression through my “lentes”.
First of all, adversity comes from the Latin word “advertere” meaning “to turn around”. So, we can’t run away or hide from what is difficult or true, but rather we must “turn around” and face it.
I see the word “try” in “triumph”, so we must try…multiple attempts to learn from mistakes. FAIL is just First Attempt In Learning. We have multiple opportunities and “tries” to figure things out (something that we don’t learn through an educational system driven by data, graphics and standardized, discreet item testing).
To “face” means to look at ourselves in a mirror and reflect. Go within and look for answers. Check in with our feelings and our heart (remember the vagus nerve that goes from the head to the heart?) As well, one can always see the emotions one is feeling by looking at the face (at least, mine is always a dead giveaway!)
Our lives are as beautiful, deep, personal, meaningful and emotional as poetry in motion. I think we just “add a verse” to our story, our poetry in motion, through adversity.
So, the pieces I put together for a bigger picture and meaning of this saying is that we have to try to look ourselves in the face, reflect on our emotions and what is “coming up” from our heart to our head through the vagus nerve and then, through this process, we are able to add another verse to the poetry of our life story! In there lies hope for me and my interpretation! It is personalized and meaningful and inspiring to keep me moving forward, ever learning and growing into the next greater “renewed and improved” version of myself.
In teaching, students who give up easily or don’t even try are just stuck. Teachers are the same. They are turning away instead of turning toward. They are not facing their FEAR (Feeling Every Added Regret). They may be frozen by anxiety or defeated by negative self-talk. (Again, perhaps the popularity of the movie and song, Frozen?) Their brains are reeling a ticker tape of “shoulda-coulda-wouldas”! Regardless, they are armored up, immobile and operating from a place of fear.
When someone is not coping well at all, we say that they have had a “major melt down”. That’s good because now we won’t be frozen anymore. Ice doesn’t flow, but water does! And with flow, we can always keep moving forward.
We need to learn that fear is okay and a natural thing that may come up when faced with something new, challenging and/or unknown. That’s where allowing for curiosity, discovery and adventure comes in the learning process.
If we try to standardize, prescribe, script and control all the variables, steps and pathways along the learning journey, we are conditioning children to the idea that…
1). there is only one way to do something and only one right answer (on that discreet item life test), and
2). that if they don’t learn that way or if they don’t take those exact same steps (my steps and my way), then, they are never going to be successful/get there/be right/be enough!!! No wonder there is so much anxiety, depression and shadow-side feelings coming up for everyone!
Research shows that one of the most prevalent characteristics
of someone who overcomes adversity and demonstrates resilience is COURAGE.
Again, courage comes from “coeur”, the heart. When we have a false “school SPIRIT” and are not following our hearts, we are sure to get lost. BUT, there is always hope and a light inside us that will show us the way back through SPIRIT lessons. Mindfulness and social/emotional intelligence awareness and training could go a long way in schools for helping children and teachers develop real school SPIRIT.
Feeling and living the truth of school SPIRIT and what really matters will help build CONFIDENCE, which is another factor in resilience.
Confidence comes from Latin and means “with faith” or “in full trust”. When confidence comes from SPIRIT, it is not aggressive or boastful or narcissistic. It means that you fully trust your heart and are faithfully executing and putting into best practice what is truly in your heart and that aligns with the intentions and integrity of your True Self.
So, let’s all have COURAGE and CONFIDENCE and COMMIT to move forward through adversity.
1). Turn things around and face what is in front of us.
2). Reflect and check in to our hearts to feel what we need. Find our “coeur-age”.
3). Recognize when a person, commitment or experience is infringing on the ability for us to meet our needs.
4). Set healthy boundaries and make healthy choices that protect/promote a healthy body, mind, spirit.
5). Breathe in confidence from this awareness and inner wisdom.
6). Commit to take a step forward. Repeat. Add another verse to your “poetry in motion”.
Essential Question of the Day for RESILIENCE:
What do I tell myself when things get hard and are not “going my way”?
CAN DO Statements:
When I feel stuck/afraid/angry (name the emotion), I pause and check in with my gut.
I break the bondage of limiting beliefs that hold me back and hold me down.
I have the power and wisdom inside me to create my own pathway.
Best Practices for Today:
When my students and I find something challenging or overwhelming in a lesson, we will give ourselves permission to be curious and explore all possibilities.
I will remember that I am always free to be me in all my choices.
For every mis-take that I or my students make, we must remind ourselves that there is another opportunity to do it over and make it better.
Inspirational song:
Reflection – Mulan (Cristina Aguilera)
Brave – Sara Bareilles
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