SPIRIT Journey: Trust

Oh boy, this is a BIG one! 

It all starts the minute we’re born. And it ebbs and flows as we move through Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in life.

Base level of Maslow’s Hierarchy = are our basic physiological needs being met? Food, water, shelter, clothing, rest…

As children, if we are left to cry when we are hungry or there simply isn’t enough food available to eat, what does that teach us about trusting the adult who is supposed to help meet our needs?

Next level of Maslow’s = are our basic safety and security needs being met? 

Do we feel safe physically, emotionally and psychologically? As we are learning our way in the world, how do others support us? Do they guide, encourage and celebrate our efforts or do they use guilt, shame and physical punishment as a method to control us?

We learn and develop trust through our experiences in the world
...good and bad.

That means all our experiences with people, places and things…ALL the nouns.

PLUS the actions that go with the nouns.

Then comes all the feelings and emotions, the adjectives and adverbs, that describe our experiences and create the memories and the stories that we associate with those experiences.

 

Good experiences = good feelings, memories and stories (and therefore, I should trust them?)

Bad experiences = bad feelings, memories and stories (and therefore, I shouldn’t trust them?)

(note that when it is a REALLY bad experience = trauma, which is a whole other topic to explore. I just want to mention here that there is a lot of attention on the trauma sensitive classroom these days, and with reason. Again, to be explored more at another time).

 

So, maybe instead of looking at trust as something that is developed through good and bad experiences, such as a good experience means I can trust the person or what has happened and a bad experience means I can’t trust the person or what has happened, maybe we can explore trust in another way.

Perhaps we can look at trust as a contract that is established

 between the two parties involved: 

the first party who has the needs and 

the second party who is meeting the needs of the first party.

 

Sounds so legal and not my usual heart-centered, emotional, Vagus-nerve flowing approach, no?

Stay with me here as we explore this a little more. Or should I say, trust me?  (more…)

Tribute to Teachers on Labor Day

Labor Day is an annual celebration of workers and their achievements. It originated during the late 1800’s in America during the Industrial Revolution when working conditions were atrocious, requiring people to work excessive hours, seven days a week and for very low wages.

According to history.com, “people of all ages, particularly the very poor and recent immigrants, often faced extremely unsafe working conditions, with insufficient access to fresh air, sanitary facilities and breaks.”

Hmmmm, that sounds familiar for teachers, especially in this current pandemic! However, we cannot allow teachers to believe that they must suffer these labor injustices in order to be effective, worthy teachers!!!

Teaching is a labor of love … unconditional love! 
And this Labor Day, I would like to 
recognize, honor and celebrate what teachers do 
unconditionally every day!

Labor Day did not become an official holiday until almost the turn of the century when President Grover Cleveland signed it into law. During the time leading up to this, there were many labor strikes, rallies, protests and events that took place to raise awareness to the atrocious labor conditions.

Limitations, boundaries, clear expectations and best labor practices were set. 
Maybe teachers need to set some "conditions" like these as well!

(more…)

Enough is enough!

Teachers and students are going back to school.  There is still uncertainty about so many things, and an underlying, pervasive feeling of fear.  When we are in fear, we may armor up for the perceived battle ahead, and then, strategically try to control all outcomes.  We may run away and hide or shut down because we feel we cannot handle or control all outcomes.  We are human, and this is our fight our flight response.

 When we feel like we are not enough, don't have enough 
or can't do enough to handle the situation that arises, 
fear takes over.

When I was walking the Camino de Santiago, I struggled with fear in every step I took.  Thoughts of not doing enough or not being enough permeated my every thought and fueled my fears.  Why didn’t I prepare and plan more carefully?  Why aren’t things going as planned?  Why was I so slow compared to others on the Camino?  Why is it so easy for everyone else?Why aren’t other people suffering like I am?  What would happen to me if I got lost?  Why couldn’t I control the blisters or the pain or the people around me or the outcomes for the day?  What if I can’t finish, and I have to go home as a “failure”?  Streaming “what if’s?’ in my head.

It reminded me of the same fears that came up in the classroom.

(more…)